I'll be honest - I am confused... Don't have much more to say. The dark atmosphere was transferred well, but the meaning was lost to me. I suppose part of the reason is me not being a native speaker, and also not a big fan of deep symbolism. I admit though that it was pretty captivating and I never felt like dropping it.
Practicing in five core creative mediums (games, animation/film, music, writing, and illustration), and discovering how the digital world can be used to build them. Have also gone by LDAF (Layering Designed Abstract Forms).
Age 28, Male
Animator/Illustrator
Northern Vermont University
Seattle
Joined on 3/8/09
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Comments
Totally fair, I understand that this kind of story isn't for everyone. Still, I appreciate you sticking through to the end and complimenting the atmosphere, thanks for reading!
JAMRIOT
This was a rollercoaster of a read! I am seriously impressed by the amount of nuance you were able to fit into a piece that would typically be hindered by the limitations set in-place by the Writer's Jam. You were able to take the word count and theme limits and make them work for you, though, creating a perfectly paced piece that could easily be reread multiple times to get a deeper understanding/interpretation of the symbolism throughout. That being said, there were a few moments that I worry may have lacked purpose in terms of narrative, but I don't see an issue with that when it contributed to the overall feeling of your piece, one that seems to be pretty intimately personal but was still expressed in a way that's understandable to an audience such as myself. Great work overall, and I appreciate your participation a ton! Stay tuned for winner updates soon!
Intrapath
Hey, thanks so much for the review, it means a lot! Reading this made my day, I'm really glad you enjoyed the story. I get where you're coming from with some of the elements not carrying their weight as far as contributing to the narrative, but it was relieving to hear that they contributed to the mood the way I hoped. This was a great jam to be a part of, thanks for putting it together!